ngga mau di post disana, jadinya disini deh

Mungkin bener pertanyaannya Youri,`why do you always makes a hundred things to make me less like you ?". Beberapa lama yang lalu, gw merasa itu pertanyaan aneh, gw merasa kalau gw ngga pernah membuat dia less likes me, gw malah merasa membuat dia gimana caranya supaya dia penasaran dan suka terus sama gw.

Tapi bahkan, apa yang gw percayai sedang gw lakukan pun ternyata bisa salah.

Ternyata lebih benar dugaan Youri, kalau gw malah sedang membuat dia less likes me.

Mungkin seumur hidup gw, gw ngga akan berhenti melakukan ini. Mungkin gw akan selalu melakukan ini. Mungkin seumur hidup gw, gw ngga pernah bisa, dan ngga akan pernah bisa, get over Dharu. Meski beberapa saat yang lalu, gw terdampar di pinggir pantai, merasa kalau gw sedang duduk disana, bertemu Dharu.

I scream so loud asking him to let me go. But then, as i sat on the sands, hardly to breathe, i realized that is not Dharu, who doesn't let go of me. Coz he's not here anymore, and wont be here, ever again. I am the one who wont let go of him. I'm the one who holding his arm tightly. He just there, like usual, not trying to let go of me, but just waiting for me until i'm ready to release him.

Mungkin itu sebabnya kenapa gw hampir selalu bikin kasus2 kecil, yang mungkin, scared Youri. coz i don't believe his words, when he told me that he won't give up on me easily. Coz even my best friend ever, the person who i thought won't ever leave me, the person who i thought will stand beside me for like, forever, she give up on me. Why wouldn't him ?

Mungkin, ngga akan pernah ada orang terakhir dalam hidup gw, yang akan menemani gw ngabisin masa hidup gw. Mungkin, selamanya gw hanya akan terjebak dalam hubungan dimana keseriusan dalam pacaran adalah nomer 348923.

Karena jauh di dalam hati gw, gw akan selalu merasa mengkhianati Dharu, tiap kali gw merasa mau serius sama orang.

Till when, you're going to live like this, Fransisca ?